Live with no excuses, Love with no regrets..

Sunday, August 28, 2005

saMsuNg! keke

well...didn't realise i seem so unhappie nowadaes. maybe its coz many things happened ba. haha but i'm happie! dun worrie~ keke yeah! i've got my new phone!! so exciting~ hhaha 1st time use flip phone...& its samsung! all the way i use nokia onli...so now abit not used to this hp. but nvm...its not as different as i thought! got all the functions i want...although dun look veri veri fWaH...but still veri nice. hahaha todae got orders non-stop...but ok lah. managed to finish up prep work in time. hehe aiyoh...next week i work veri little ah... nvm. pia other week. haha next week gona meet my galz...so make time sPeCiAlLy for them. heheh rare rite? =P yeah...juz now went to grandma place...she keep smiling todae! haha veri happie to see me ba... wAHaHHAa no lah...coz many pple i guess. i'll make it a point to go see her every sunday. its impt to me. =) okie...my bro's getting married! quite excited actualli...coz normalli go those wedding dinner is all relatives' one..now is my brother! hahaha okok...i go explore my hp le...keke cya all soon! =)

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thiNkinG at;
10:53 PM;

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Thursday, August 25, 2005

guess wat.....

my bro is getting married early next yr! although they're together 2+ yrs liao...i thiNk...but i'm still quite shocked when my mum told me. haha quite puzzled coz i thought its young for a guy to marry at 24. anywayz..i'm veri happie for him & can't wait to play with babies! haha well...todae had a great talk with my mama...i said it was quite early but my mum said its okie...coz not young anymore. wOw! she say the timing is okie for them to settle down to work & support themselves...maybe coz my bro already has a planned road ahead...he smart mah. keke b4 that she updated me abt my bro's thinking. its farnie...coz i realise that my bro grew up so differently from me coz he was away from us during maturing yrs...wahaha well...we're not those kind of close-knitted siblingz. i think i noe sof more than i noe abt my own real bro. but i still feel a sense of connection although we dun tok much ba. hehe he's great with computer stuff & extremely intelligent. he's the complete opposite of me. REALLY! =P well...dunno when he stopped eating meat..saying its cruel to animals. its true lah...but he's realli avoiding them. he is thrifty & independant. after hearing some "family politics" & discussing it with mummy...i have many thoughts. not puzzling thoughts...juz plain self-realisation ba. dunno how to put down in words. & a wedding is so expensive! kaoz...jialat. plus the new hdb when he moves out. haiz. i'll have to work more now. as much as i can...ease my parents' load. coz i noe my parents' gona spend lotsa $$$ le...dun wanna drag them down anymore especially after re-making my lost stuff. got a new wallet which i will use for a loNg time...gona buy hp...then onli left with my ic & license to settle. hopefully my bro wun be moving out so soon ba... =)

thiNkinG at;
11:58 PM;

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Sunday, August 21, 2005

daes of mixed feelings...

these few daes have been weird. 1stly..its so tough without hp. (troublesome) heng got standby phone...tahan until get new phone ba. got my new sim card le...so its the same old no.! pHeW. =) sch so far still okie...but starting to feel the stress & the unwillingness to study. (sianz) travelled ard to get my stuff replaced(lonely)...bought new wallet but still miss the lost one. (too bad..) haiz. didn't work for 5 daes but it seemed like 4eva...especially when i was uncontactable. fri finally work. (excited) but yesterdae during my break...while out buying dinner...fell on my butt! (pai seh) veri painful leh! at nite slam. i was cashier...but i dun like manz...so stress & i can't help the rest much outside~ argh! (angry) felt that they ran ard like siao.. i was stuck inside cashier. poor gladys fell...haiz. (felt so sorrie) i was so scared i'll kok up cashier..but luckily didn't. (relieved) i dun wanna do cashier le. can't they be flexible? i miss those "charlie's angelz" times...sigHz. customer gave me feedback abt my fellow workmate, jarvie, which made me laugh. (hilariously) said he scared them hahah leeyin came to find me (surprised & super happy)..couldn't tok much coz abit busy. but i was glad to see her coz seldom get to meet her! hehe our schedules dun go well together. earlier in the dae, had a nice chat with mich on the phone. (felt how much i missed capna & co.) near closing time...i started to feel the tiredness. feet were aching terribly & back was worse. dunno if its coz of the fall or izzit juz full shift tiredness. maybe i'm juz getting old hahah felt realli shag & xingku. the thought of next dae opening juz made me even more tired. but my jc frenz came...couldn't join them for fren's bdae at wala wala. haiz (sad) but happy to see them. unexpectedly my fren could give me a lift home. i was quite shocked but excited! neber sit *pEh* for a long time le...haha my mood suddenly became better leh. like mood swing rite... roller coaster. haiz. heng got a ride home...if not i sure can't wake up todae. now i think of it...think i mafan him le. wat was i thinking! (siaoz) todae went work...karen was there! (shocked) she's suppose to be at spca run...but coz of some miscommunication in timing so they went late. poor them...they could have been $100+ richer! argh! wasted. work was not bad actualli...until 4+pm...i start thinking alot again. dunno is i slow or wat...i couldn't complete all my mudpies in time! (pek chek) i dun like to leave my work incomplete...but when i think of how i saw that irresponsible guy slack the previous morning...quite uncomfortable feeling leh! i noe he sick lah..but todae when i had to do all the stuff that he could have done but didn't...i can't be so understanding anymore. machiam i have to clean up after his mess. argh watever. maybe i'm juz not pro enough to complete the challenge. haiz. so i'll stop complaining & stop putting the blame on others. life's changes..can't & dun want to accept sometimes. but..bo pian. yah...messed up mind rite? complicated. sometimes i also dunno y i think so much & wat i doing leh...aiyoh! i'm weird..zhuo mo wo zhe yang de! hahah siaoz... niteZ!

thiNkinG at;
10:51 PM;

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Tuesday, August 16, 2005

lost........

i've juz experienced the worst feeling i ever had. the feeling of losing stuff & never getting them back...wanting to replace new cards but yet waiting & hoping that stuff might come back. but yet again maybe impossible...onli can wait. facing the after-effects of losing SO many things! so siAnZ lah! its such a torture to call & hope the thief would answer my call. but then my hp was switched off after some time. that was when i noe i wasn't gona get my stuff back. the 2 most impt thingz to me...wallet & hp. the wallet i loved so much & the hp full of memories. sUx! i dun feel comfortable without them...VeRy lost. i've never felt so lost & helpless b4 manz. that thief is so lucky...i juz hope he's/she's got the heart to send me back the thingz that doesn't mean anything to him/her...but means soOoOo much to me. haiz. cards can be replaced...hp can buy...but some things are irreplaceable... i'm praying so hard that i'll get some thingz back............. argh. y can't there be more honest & kind-hearted strangers ard. or am i juz plain sUaY. nono...i'm simply careless. i've been careless my whole life. pri & sec sch keep making careless mistakes in exams...jc onwards careless in wat i say & do. misplaced my stuff a few times le...so heng i got them back. but this time.....realli goneZ. all i can blame is myself...for being so 4getful & cArEleSs! i've lost too many things to even think abt. my many yrs of memories...plz dun juz go down the rubbish dump. i realli hate myself for 4getting my stuff. i felt like shit when i woke up this morning...1st thing i think of is my stuff. how i wish it was all a dream...& i could learn from the dream itself. y reality?! aRGH! being angry at myself...weird but true lah. having to face my parents is terrible...they won't scold the hell out of me...that's wat makes me feel all the more BAD when they juz sAy me. i feel so sorry...feel like i'm causing so much trouble & wasting so much of their $$$. haiz... i've lost sOoO much IMPT things in my wallet & hp!!!!!!!!!!!! aAAHHHhhHHhH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! haiz...................................

thiNkinG at;
11:46 PM;

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Sunday, August 14, 2005

i love my grandma.... =)

juz now went my grandma house...usual family dinner. after dinner...sat next to my grandma to look after her...while the rest continue eating. ard 1 year ago...she went out with my parents..then juz suddenly fainted. she was walking slightly behind...so no one was in time to catch her. the situation was juz so normal...walking away from somewhere & it juz happened. my parents say they juz heard a "pOnG" & my grandma was on the grd...face down. heng it was carpet flooring...but the outcome was already bad. when i heard abt it...super upset & scared. she looked after me & brought me up. she had alwayz looked young & healthy for her age...but after this accident...now bed-ridden le. sighZ. she kena blood clot in her brain..that's y she fainted. operation went well but she became very weak. i'll alwayz remember when i saw her on the hospital bed. the blood clot made her head swell.. & she didn't look like whom i knew. i was so devastated & juz cried in front of her. & i'm alwayz grateful to dajie & didi for accompanying me that nite at esplanade. realli meant alot to me. =) slowly...she got better...then came the 2nd blow. she got infection & ended up in hospital again. its like restart...she has to go thru' it all again. haiz. i'm veri weak when it comes to this....i wish i could take the pain & suffering for her. she's recovering well now but she's extremely skinny. i'm 100% willing to give her my fats to keep her warm...keke she's able to move her arms & mumble words. but todae.. she actualli said something i understand! i'm so happy to see her happy. she smiled so many times todae leh! i felt that i spent so much "quality time" with her todae in less than an hr. i still dunno if she recognise me...but seeing her happy juz makes my day. its enough for me. =) cHeErS! i'll have a gd rest tonite...tmr still duno wat to wear. jialat. anywayz...we'll go enjoy at d&d! =P

thiNkinG at;
10:41 PM;

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start sch le...

hmm...sch now is still alright coz tutorials haven't started. quite slack leh...hahah but when my tutorial timetable finalise...then its a different story. haiz anyway...some lecs were quite interesting but dunno abt the assignments next time...haha well... last nite got $6+ tips...counted as veri gd le hor! long time neber get so much tips le. working in f&b line..makes me realise how tough it is. sometimes we work like siao...but kena take for granted. some nice customers will appreciate us...but some gives us more trouble or make complaints instead. wat the hell...its so irritating! they think its so easy & that we're suppose to do wat they want. how demanding. give us some time manz. argh! i'm pissed at them...but yet 'customer alwayz right'? yeah...this is the irony we have to go thru' especially when our boss is not staff-oriented. no welfare for us anyway. we can't tell the customers off...although we realli wish to. i'll alwayz remember wat they did to my didi....make him go thru' shit. some selfish & arrogant bustard came to make trouble...& all thanx to the "fantastic" management...didn't help my didi at all. wah kaoz. he went thru' a hard time after that k. anywayz... now he's found a better job ba. better boss. & he's enjoying himself there. orbi for our boss..haha lost such a good & loyal staff. HA HA HA =P aiyah...i can't say much also lah...coz he's paying me. keke aiyah...i juz hope that pple will realise that we r all humans too. can't expect us to be perfect. pls be more understanding & the world will be a better place...haha when we r treated well...naturally we'll treat u well too mah. hehe watever lah...argh. d&d's tmr & i still dunno wat to wear. shitz. anyway...looking forward more to the program after that. wahahah ktv? maybe...keke lalllaaalalllaalaalaalalaallalala i miss my galz....! =P

thiNkinG at;
2:12 PM;

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Tuesday, August 09, 2005

this yr so much fireworks!!

happy bdae s'pore~! i love s'pore!! hahah realli leh...i've been saying that since sec sch... keke right galz? wahaha wah seh...40 yrs old le...so fast leh. although i watch ndp on tv at home...the fireworks still looked so nice! so much leh!! wah...if go there see will be better...haiz but nvm! next time...coz will have more & nicer ones ba...haha did u see those with a star in a circle? fwah...amazing manz. also got those like falling stars...!!! nice nice! aiyoh..all nice. haha last time go sembawang park relac...also will see fireworks leh! dunno why have leh..& also dunno come from where. maybe thats malaysia or indonesia? argh...didi say i siao. anyway...my geog lousy. haha but it's so fantastic...nice place to rest & relax hehe didi!! want tuition...tell me ah..bring newspaper wahahahah bLeaHz. wah.. PH eve & PH dae-shift damn shag leh..somemore tio both wait side. i no stamina liao ah...haha but nvm..good exercise! tiring...everyone shag. even sue is improving coz she's helping out more hahaha eh eh eh...last nite i had a dream leh. can't realli remember le...but i dreamt of my ex. hahaha b4 u all start rolling ur eyes & sighing...juz hear me out. nothing much lah...juz dreamt that we r together & he was very very understanding. waiting with me to settle some stuff which took veri long. & he didn't get angry! hahaha so farnie...coz in reality..wun be like that ba. think he'll get pissed. anyway...its weird...coz i neber think of him mah! i thought u'll dream of pple that u alwayz or sub-consciously think of...but its not true lah. aiyah watever lah...up to u lah. up to u to think. wahahahahha juz now watched shooting stars...sylvester played guitar & sang a song...short part only...but it was damn nice lah! fWaH~ i wanna find that song! whoever noe...send me leh~ hahaha its realli veri nice!!!! i'll melt.....keke wah..todae gladys tried starbuck's new strawberrys & cream.. i tried..veri nice leh! wah...shiok lah. she drink until she tian mi mi...then kena suan by me. wahaha lalalaa...where have all the fishes gone...far from ny.....hahaha ok... gelare with karen & charity todae...pai seh coz they gave us discount again. this must stop! feel so bad. haiz. hmm..tmr having my 1st lec as a yr2 student. alright lah...coz tutorial haven't start. hope i can handle 6 modules loh. after that go shopping for d&d clothes...so exciting! hehehe play while i still can! u all too~ =P

thiNkinG at;
11:30 PM;

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Sunday, August 07, 2005

veri veri tired....

fridae met my galz for ktv. fiNaLlY 6 of us! woOo hOoo~! long awaited leh! especially when N's alwayz flying. hahaha so we all sang...& they sang soOo well! i feel so lousy there...coz their voices are all fantastic! duno y they dun go join jue dui superstar. haha anywayz..sorrie that i had to leave early for work...hehehe it was like a reunion session...so fun! haha worked wait side..no fish. haiz. haha after that went sch to help out rag preparations. no slp for all of us...juz like last yr. seeing them resting while we beautify them reminds me of how tiring it was...after all the practices. the waiting was a torture...especially when i'm juz a helper. nothing specific to do. but well...their hardwork paid off...when i saw the performance...wOw! it rox manz! it was damn well done lah. the costumes were fantastic...their dance was a success! won 6 awards.. a record for my fac ba! hahah yeah...felt extra & veri tired so not veri enthu...i juz sat there & watch loh. went home to get some sleep b4 going to work. cold side that nite was alrite...kena disturbed by shawn but less nagging than the 1st time ba. pHeW~ haha we met bryan after work. sof + gladys was great! she's part of us now. kekeke we enjoyed ourselves so much hahah our secret..sSshHh. eat until so full...couldn't sleep. hahaha rare chance...thats y i enjoyed it soOo much! anyway..after a few hrs of sleep...opening again! actualli veri awake...but after the long long slam todae...realli shag. i was super tired....non-stop leh. cold & wait side was not any better. all coz of the granton card...sucking up all our energy. argh! okie...i'll go recharge. s'pore is getting old...ahahah kk...zZzzz.......

thiNkinG at;
8:22 PM;

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Friday, August 05, 2005

nus....argh!

izzit me or does all nus students hate it too? the bidding stuff...haiz so troublesome...i realli miss the times when our timetable is planned for us. well...guess its coz uni students are supposedly more independent? i dunno lah....but the system koked up...coz too many pple login together. but wat u expect? given a stipulated time...& all fighting to get their modules...& me...having so little bid points...can take wat module? kaoz. real headache...can't wait for my timetable to be confirmed. still got tutorials to ballot for the next 2 weeks...haiz. anyway...enough bitching already. todae wanted to surprise charity with bdae cake...but guess rahim made it too obvious. this reminded me of last yr...when we bought cake for karen & halif. also same thing...after closing bring in...hehe so fast....1 yr has passed & many things have changed ba. =) had a hard time balancing spike D while didi ride sLoWlY...hahaha yah...i can't wait to see the rag dance on sat. seems damn good...by the look of the costumes. noe how stress the freshies feel now ba... been there...done that. haha fun experience though. =P yeah... enjoy pple~

thiNkinG at;
2:37 AM;

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Tuesday, August 02, 2005

freshies...

hmm...todae went to sch to help out o-week. surprisingly alot of freshies leh...alot more that didn't go for foc camp. heng i see more guyz...if not my course can become girls' sch le. hahah building & real estate leh...more gers than guyz...weird rite? hehe anyway...no outstanding fish ba. wahah watever lah~ i also dun wanna think abt it. keke todae i go there also zuo boh leh...nothing much to do. watch them play...& enjoy seeing them do forfeits loh. farnie uNtiL..........wahahaha then travel back home...lOng loNg journey ah.... aiyah. used to it. haiz. yep...so this week working alot. gd gd....i need $$$ manz. been spending too much le... argh. well..i gotta plan module again..this time is the extra modules. gona take 2 extras...but dunno which timing to choose coz lazy to wake up so early but yet wanna take together with frenz. aiyah...see how ba. now i'm thinking if i should take 1 more. coz have many more extras to clear leh.. siGhZ. clear more now...next time not so xiong..but then my results sux now! my CAP score is like damn low lah. haiz later take so many...results like shit..scarly kena kick out ah. yah..its tHaT bad. haiz. so mao dun leh...dun take more now...next time also jialat...argh!! think i'm juz gona see myself drown in uni...haiz. kk...this is something for u all... =)
"Look at what you've been through, and learn from the past, but don't carry it around. Remember all the lovely times that made you who you are."

thiNkinG at;
1:30 AM;

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