Live with no excuses, Love with no regrets..

Friday, August 31, 2007

enlightened...

i'm thankful that i have pple who understand me & make me feel like i'm not in a mess. still trying hard to do the "right" thing.

purpose of this post todae...is to share my experience in HR class todae. it was a realli interesting 3 hr session..& its one of the few lessons where i didn't feel sleepy at all...not even a tiny winy bit. coz we learnt about Perception, Personality and Perspectives. basically some bits of different views from psychology & sociology. i've alwayz thought psychology is so interesting...but its onli interesting w/o the examinations. nice to learn...but not easy to take as a major...thats y i didn't go there.

anywayz... my mind drifted away while the tutor spoke...juz for short moments. while i applied what he juz said on myself. this is the right time...so it all made sense. personality differences: nature(psycho) vs nurture(socio). nature means genetically formed..u r borned the way u r...which cannot be changed much. nurture is what pple make out of u. i guess it juz boils down to how strong u r...deep inside...if u can focus on ur nature & not ur nurture. if u r strong...u will stick by your beliefs and not be altered by situations that differ u. otherwise, based on nurture...ur environment determines how u behave & what u'll become. in reality, we are a product of our situational factors to a large extent..means.. more of nurture. simple eg: if u grow up in a poor family...ur thoughts and behaviours are different from a rich person's. another would be the case study given, a good prisoner was tortured by his cell mates as he wasn't like them(not as evil)..so in order to fit in...he had to act like he was one of them...otherwise he would have been wacked to death. in this extreme case...i guess there wasn't much of a choice...if he wanted to stay alive. hence, the best result of this...is to follow the evils for the sake of pleasing them...but most importantly, hold on to ur own beliefs and values inside u. somehow i can understand how the prisoner feels...juz not in such an extreme situation ba.

the tutor asked: " Can u decide on something & juz get it done?" it got us thinking...its actually quite difficult. of course not refering to those mundane stuff...but more like in tough situtaions where consequences are severe. if its me...i already have difficulties deciding on which one...dun even have to think about getting it done. anyway...he showed us perception images...& it was real fun. visual perception like this one..u're supposed to see a vase & the 2 faces. 1 more extra task: try to focus on onli one (either the vase OR the faces)...& ignore the other. try it. its impossible. coz according to the tutor, the other view is forcing itself into ur mind. this is how our brain works...when 2 things are equal, its hard to reconcile on one. no wonder...we canot bring ourselves to accept something not desired coz our insecurities are constantly somewhere un-ignorable.

another test was on equal length lines...showing that reality and perceptions are different. maybe this is the reason why we have misunderstandings and quarrels ba. also found a great website to facinate and test urself if u're realli free.
http://www.scientificpsychic.com/graphics/

ok...enough of all these visual perception stuff. some may think all these are very simple...but i'm juz facinated by it lah can. the reasonings juz link with my perspectives of life. luckily i dun study psychology... otherwise i'll be thinking doubly hard... which is bad for my brain...& i'll realli go psycho.

so i guess it all lies in.. listening to psycho(who u realli are) views or socio(wat pple think of u) views. following psycho is good...but sometimes situations does not allow it or makes it darn difficult to. thats y we turn to socio..but following socio will make u a different person altogether...a person u don't wish to be. now i believe how tough it is...how haunting it feels. i've chose the prisoner's path...nurture to please "society" but nature still unchanged. both choices are not righteous. as much as i feel sorry & bad abt it...i juz hope i can be strong enough. thanx blossomz. thanx to all. & most imptly...seldom said but truely felt...thanx to U.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

thiNkinG at;
3:51 PM;

*~=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-~*

Sunday, August 26, 2007

engine too slow...deteriorating..

the engine in me is too darn slow. i'm aware of the workload piling up...i noe i have lots to read & have to start soon. but somehow...no matter how much i complain...i can't seem to start. wat's wrong with me. my closest frenz know me so well...the excuse i give myself for enjoying is...to enjoy as much as i can b4 i start to get stressed up on work. but then i juz keep enjoying & delaying the start of study time. i can juz laze ard at home or stay out late...juz telling myself i dun have time to relax anymore next time. but that next time never comes. i lack discipline....or maybe i juz dun wanna be disciplined.

find no point forcing things. if i dun wanna start...i can't force myself. will juz end up dozing off. if its time to happen... it will. i'm like a robot...w/o any controls. automation. juz enjoy ba...coz my life's gona be a short one. things happen for a reason. can't take it anymore. each time...i juz get weaker. its getting harder to act like i dun care. its difficult to ignore the faults i'm making. juz feel so helpless...especially when i'm the cause of it.

aims for now: (1)start reading textbk & lect notes. (2)going on a major diet. my uncle juz told me i am expanding. this is it. i'm determined... & its the best time too. after leong's calculation...now i know how far i am from getting a desirable cert. i have less than a yr left...& i'll have to get average b+ to get just a 3rd class. how is this possible...i realli dunno.

thiNkinG at;
3:32 PM;

*~=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-~*

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

d&d nite

nydc's d&d was realli fun~! a time where everyone could hangout as a group w/o worrying there's short of staff working. haha everyone was dressed up...flashes all around & no cheezy smell. there were onli a few of us from holland. unlike the retro d&d last time...where we gals could all dress up in different colour schemes...ard 8-10 galz. but this yr..haiz...onli 4 of us could make it. anywayz...it was so interesting to see all the different impersonations ard...like a costume show! kekeke

me, ren & glad were the charlie's angels! & our bosley was francis. some mistook us for SHE? wah liao...realli meh? failed attempt then. but so happy when pple got it right...at least our efforts not put to waste. hahaha dinner food was alright but we were more interested in the performances! we had paris heeren as our MC...who did a great hilarious job! his thai accent was damn good la. & the performance by rahmat was superb! he's so daring! surprising costume change & sexy moves... wahahha now u noe y suntec won the best performance that nite~ keke then it was heeren+holland turn... with the highsch musical and grease dance...it was so retro! francis & bryan did us proud! woOo hOo~ our pro dancers..they realli shook their booties & showed everyone that they're real dance material! 1st time seeing kor dance..too bad i couldn't see that spiceboy dance he did in sec sch. argh.. but i'm realli impressed! =P well done!

then it was the prize giving...& congrats to karen who won the star award! think she realli deserves it...the most! dedicated her life to nydc lo...juz as a part-timer...like machiam work full-time hor. can u imagine. nag at her so many times to study...she dun listen...see lah! now gotta spend so much $$$...haiz. anyway...too bad part timers didn't have lucky draw...this time round d&d like lower budget than the last time? but it was a success ba..except that the music at nite could have been better. argh. couldn't enjoy dancing... is techno realli dieing? how can?!

went to have supper at coffee club after that. bangers & mash..ice earl vanilla & muddy mudpie!! sLurRpZ. hang out & tok tok...as usual. ok...here are the pics! =P

couldn't resist this ferrari...totally suits us...rite? hahaha

d&d'07 committee

2 holland guy dancers + 2 heeren gal dancers...well done!

yEaH...holland V rox!

nydc's angels~ see our star award winner? =P

thiNkinG at;
7:58 PM;

*~=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-~*

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

1st week of sch...

back to sch. QM lect was not bad...coz it was that farnie lecturer who taught us b4. but kinda scared coz he warned us that this module is not easy. hMm. & 2nd dae overslept unexpectedly. i realli didn't want to...my hp alarm didn't sound...coz my hp died while i was slping! argh. bought a new alarm cLoCk already...i'm efficient de.. ok! it shows how much i regret overslping hor. kekeke

entrep mkting is realli intimidating. y they speak so well? i need to speak less singlish...realli. the introduction in class was so stressful...impressed by all the other students. i felt like an ant. haiz. its gona be a tough elective...i'm quite sure i'm slaughtered this sem. can time pass slowly please? i need more time for my last year. argh.

guess i can't work much now already...after facing up to the workload. shitz. i so need $$$. expenses are getting higher...i dunno why. i'll try to help ny when i can...but i can't promise anything. weekends k? i'll try. these few daes.. met very memorable customers...both nice ones & terrible ones. its so facinating sometimes...to know that there are all sorts of pple ard. those extremely nice & understanding ones...juz makes my day. those familiar ones...whom smile/chat to acknowledge appreciation. but also those who r juz so unbelievably iNcoNsiDeRatE! the next time u walk out of a restaurant...w/o paying...think again. i hope ur guilty conscience will pull u back to pay us what u owe. i served...i trusted...(coz u all seemed like nice customers)...but then u ran away when no one was looking. how irresponsible. i wonder if u have any conscience at all. pls think about consequences. who are the ones paying them off? i don't believe u can't afford what u ate...if u can even step in & accept the details i spelt out for u. be it accidental or on purpose...i am so disappointed. realli. with myself too...for being not observant enough & maybe trusting customers too easily.

one more thing...i am tolerating attitudeZ. dun test my limits. don't treat like i'm worthless...sAy stuff & boss pple ard. say harsh things w/o thinking of pple's feelings. i was juz trying to give good svc...but it seems like it was wrong for me to do that. at least the customers did appreciate it...& they were too nice that's why i was hoping for an exception. but u didn't even wanna hear me out. watever. i'm tolerating coz u've been nice b4...so please dun tarnish that impression i have of u. i'll juz 4get about this. hope there's no more of this shit. =)

gona dreamland....nitEz~!

thiNkinG at;
11:41 PM;

*~=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-~*

Thursday, August 09, 2007

i've got my module! so happy!! spent 430 points! argh...now left with 300+ onli. dunno if its enough for next sem. hahah chose entrepreneur marketing...hope its not as difficult as what i've heard. hmm....me & neo dun have much choice actually. too bad leong already fulfilled hers in hk. yes!~ its over. next mon ballot...kinda simple this time coz veri little mods has tutorials to plan for. gona have 4-dae week! laallallaaa...sch's gona start next week...quite excited actually...its been like super long away from lectures and uni frenz~ playtime is over...lets welcome study-cum-play time. wahahaha

oh ya...watched perfect stranger last nite...its sUpeR good. realli. the twist in plot...so intelligent! really caught everyone by surprise...think all was stunned when the truth was out. so if u're free & wanna eat some popcorn...go watch that! oh ya.. i went to watch "alone". with dajie & kor a few daes back. abit bo pian la...but i gave in willingly. haha coz its in the afternoon...so i wouldn't be "haunted" by it ba. turned out thrilling and bloody. there was also a twist~ nowadaes plot twisting is a trend? but nice nice.....now i noe wat tracie meant by humans can turn out to be scarier than ghosts. kekeke

todae went for k lunch with ah neo and radio. food was not veri nice leh...but cheap lo...can't ask for much. haha it was realli fun! interesting that they juz click so well...so didn't have to worry about awkwardness. hmm...sometimes i think that..if onli some things changed in the past...then all would be different now. but those are the "if only-s" that are only thought of...which could never happen. if onli time was reversible...everything can be made different. imagine...we can all celebrate 21st bdaes over & over again....& never get old! hahhaha

anyway...its national dae right noW! happie 42nd bdae s'pore! going grandma's house to have a fiest! guess we'll have to run up to 10th floor to see it...good little exercise ya? haha no live parade tix...but nah. juz see live fws also can. hahhaa can't wait!

meeting up the expanding capna(pls change this!) with mui(we missed u so much!) soon. guess u'll have much to update us hor. kekeke got free tix to rush hr 3...early in the morning..zZzzz. bet it'll be damn farnie. been eating too much popcorn recently...oh manz. but i cannot don't eat popcorn while watching movie! pple are starting to learn my language ah...watch it. i cannot don't influence u all...coz its not not difficult at all & wun be unnatural to say out wahahha argh...nydc d&d coming... impersonation nite... red carpet hall of fame? how? who? difficult...aiyah. watever la. hahhaa

thiNkinG at;
12:09 AM;

*~=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-~*

Monday, August 06, 2007

bidding headache...

its time again...for the bidding madness. module selection and management...to suit core module's timing & exam dates. the planning and searching...can be real tiring. some modules seem so interesting...but if its not lecture clash, then exam clash. otherwise...its juz too popular where supply exceeds demand...& with the limited bid points...its juz impossible to fight with others. sometimes u dun even have to place a bid...after u see the super high minimum bid required. argh. y others have so much points & i have so little! oh manz...maybe i put too much last time...bidding for all the super high ones. sianz sian sianz. gotta find a suitable one by wed...i must i must! the core modules were easier to confirm coz we're damn "rich" for our program a/c. but i'm so disadvantaged in my general a/c. why why why.

this is not the end...tutorial balloting next week is worse. thats based on luck. hopefully can get the slots i want... otherwise... timetable will really be sucky. its my last yr already...sort of gotten used to this bidding & balloting problem...but its a real tAsK everytime. hopefully...i dun get outbidded in the last few hrs of close bidding. and i realli can't wait for all these timetable planning to end...aAaaHh.

last thurs..went to da-beautiful-one's shop in toapayoh to makan. super shiok & yummy food! Food Addict. remember this cafe's name...think it'll become big one dae. potential bigtimer in neighbourhood area. jiayou! we'll alwayz support u!! if u haven't try it...i realli dunno wat u waiting for. its near delifrance btw. hahaha free advertising...maybe they should pay me by giving me a job next time. i may help. realli. =P

yesterdae went for sakura buffet with sof. if onli glad could join us...stupid exams! argh. weird smelling place...coz of the mixture of international food. had lotsa my fav salmon sashimi and many other stuff. started at ard 8 and b4 we even started dessert...they told us buffet gona close soon. so early!! it was onli 9+. not bad la the food...but toOo full. managed to nibble some fruits and desserts b4 leaving. hahaha at nite was mj...its been a long long time. vie & vin was so hyper...i couldn't stop laughing. they're like 2 oversized kids playing while the other juz swinging...again. kekeke

this is the last week of holidaes...work as much as i can. too bad didn't get ndp tix...haiz. tv will be fine ba. next week start sch...argh!

thiNkinG at;
4:14 PM;

*~=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-~*