Live with no excuses, Love with no regrets..

Thursday, June 29, 2006

fun x 10....sleep x 1.

sorrie for the late post...but didn't have the time. hmm...i'll start from last fri. went to vinc's bdae after work...& his durian cake was yUmMy! hahhaha heard he spent loads preparing his bdae...but guess his presents covered the burdens. met the long-time-see-once montfortians. glad that we all did some catching up. seems like most the gfs couldn't make it. as for him...i was relieved. coz i wouldn't dare tok to him if she was by his side. not that i had any motive lah...but u noe...its juz hard to tok. even w/o her...i took a great deal of courage b4 starting the conversation. but couldn't he start off 1st? argh. i dun usually make the 1st move know? i almost gave up trying...but knowing the regrets later...i spoke. first sight was a pleasant shock. then later were occasional group chats. until after the cake...then 2 of us. engrossed in the conversation...maybe onli me lah. hmm...moments of nervousness...happiness...sadness. all jumbled & mixed up. undescribable emotions. i tried my best to act normal...when my heart was actualli thumping fast. i'm actualli quite shocked that we toked for quite some time...& normally too. no sense of awkwardness. somehow i felt something familiar while chatting...which made it all comfortable. guess its bcoz we were once so close...although onli a short span...but enough for me to develop this sense of connectedness. i'm over him...but somehow i juz miss our history & have been waiting for a chance to be like frenz again. maybe this is wat gives me mixed feelings. overall...realli satisfied & juz plain happy.

anyway... didn't manage to psycho more pple to join us for mos later...so it was juz a few of us. i'm surprised that jord actualli goes to the dance floor now...cHeErS! hahaha the last time i tried to pull him in...he wouldn't budge. this time...he's asking us to go in! wahhaha many "perverts" that nite...those that go ard targeting girls. this is when i start to watch show. haha next dae opening then nite time went to this ktv pub at boat quay for lisa's bdae. kinda cosy but smoky. met our sec sch classmate there...still the same! me & xw were kinda sian...coz the other gerz couldn't come. the bdae girl's frens we didn't noe....so...separated. juz enjoyed her fren's singing...he's realli good. think he should join superstar. haha sundae could work full shift coz parents went genting...so didn't have family dae. after that went for last min midnite ktv till 6am. that was when my throat started to get sore. maybe it was coz of all the singing...or maybe juz the virus going ard nowdaes. so many staff have been on mc nowadaes...the remaining ones are trying hard to hold on. maybe its our turn. cHoi! haha

mondae -> work then sof outing. rare chance that kor was out...& heng didi 8-5 for now. went marina sq & had CA for dinner...with a black-faced waitress walking ard. luckily it was a frenly trainee who served us. i was craving for fondue...but shops were all closing...argh. had a tough time getting to town...no taxi...bus eventually came. watched Just My Luck which was so farnie! they're realli meant to be together manz. pure sweetness at the end. kekek tue was full shift again...with radio on shift at nite. haven't had enough time to recharge myself...but guess i was getting used to it. isn't hard waking up early anymore. after work had mahjong session till 5+ b4 we all concussed. kinda lucky to have won big at the start. so losing later didn't bankrupt me. haha next dae opening...i was still in sleeping mode. went home to freshen up b4 meeting liwen for dinner + shopping. she alwayz makes me laugh...maybe its her behaviour. it was enjoyable although onli 3 hrs. sorrie ah neo...had to leave for zouk coz chionging with my fac pple. it was fun turning ur all-time-fav mini toy machines. hehe got 3 blackies b4 the reddie...hahaha ah leong realli liked it! keke played games & drank quite alot at phuture...which turned out to heal my sore throat. i'm not saying its a cure...but it helped. maybe i was juz a little high..so the sore throat didn't seem to bother anymore. but woke up with worst cough. haiz. but its okie! still bearable. =) went shopping with xw todae...too bad the other gerz couldn't make it. came back home & had home-cooked food with my parents....its been a while. & we had Han's peach tarts which i bought! i feel so filial....waHahaHa pUi~ =P

okie...continuous activities are extremely fun but draining my energy. but nvm...i still can tahan. so after recharging tonite...i'm ready for somemore! tmr is work again then fx's bdae. later at nite...gona have a gathering coz rico is back! dunno wat's the plan yet...hope it'll be fun! well...onli 1 month of holidae left...so fast!! hope more outingz...quick! & then taiwan...woOo hOo~ eNjOy PpLe! =)

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thiNkinG at;
9:50 PM;

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Thursday, June 22, 2006

my usual long updates

so glad that xw followed my truthful advice to update her blog...finally! hahah at least now i noe wat she's doing now. working. hehehe ly's entries are getting long...good good! lets all start to be lor soh..bUt interesting still. wahahha kk...i appreciate that u all remember wat i commented...juz meet up more k! i'll still organise outingz lah...but gotta take a break from planning sometimes. haha

coming home for dinner is good...at least get to spend time with my parents. i noe they prefer to see me more often...but i hope they understand how hard i try to plan my week's schedule...making sure i'm home for dinner at least 1 weekdae. yah...i noe it sounds ridiculous but i've got many other factors to consider. i find this "quality time" satisfying even if there's silence. normally the tv's doing all the toking...coz my family is rather quiet. hahah the onli thing i dread is...when the questioning starts. as soon as my mum saw me todae...ask me where have i been everydae...what do i do. well...i can understand her immediate questioning...but i thought she already "let me go"...if u noe wat i mean. so i made it clear...that i'm working. holidaes working...no prob. she didn't object. was juz curious y i reach home soOo "early" in the mornings. hmm...turns out she sometimes wake up & find that i'm not home yet. but she doesn't msg me to ask...so? i had no idea. okok...now that she knows i go for supper & stuff after work...maybe her doubts are cleared? anyway...realise its all my mum? coz my father juz listens. he seldom comments. if he realli does...then that will mean trouble. =P see....i noe my parents so well! bleahz. sometimes i can even sense when my mum is about to question me...when she's thinking & processing the info i juz gave her & if she's gona continue questioning/pondering. guess its this bond that makes us family.

dun mind my essay entry todae...i've got lotsa things to say. watched a part of the 7pm channel U show. juz another taiwan series abt 2 guyz fighting for a girl + an extra evil girl which everyone curses. its a typical taiwan show. same plot ba...juz dunno who ends up with who. yes i admit that...like any other girl... i envy the female lead who have devoted suitors...wooing her so wholeheartedly. but also the thought of having to choose 1 of the 2...makes me go "heng i'm not her ah!" can u imagine the tough choice? with my indecisiveness....think i'll juz have a bad headache. so...luckily i dun have such problems. blessing in disguise. wahaha life's kinda weird...some tend to attract pple whom are totally unexpected. & the ones u're "AwWw-ing" at...never look ur way. expectations? yeah...beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. its the luckiest to find someone who loves u juz as much as u love him...but how often is that? not impossible...but rare.

went zouk with ren & gladys last nite. music onli started to get high after 1+ ba. vie didn't put aeroplane...so we agreed to leave early for supper to pei him eat at lau par sat. guess too few of us to realli enjoy at zouk...but good though. many eye candy. hahaha tmr got a bdae at chalet....sat got another bdae at ktv...sundae another one but might not be able to make it le. oh...my holidaes are flying fast.

thiNkinG at;
9:34 PM;

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Sunday, June 18, 2006

great weekend getaway..

chalet was gReAt. simply relaxing & enjoyable. 1st dae went to escape...been a long time since i sat thrill rides. exciting but the queue still as long...haiz. went for dinner at sakura. coz of the scorching afternoon sun...i got a terrible headache. its the one i get every once in a while. izzit common to get it by the sun's rays? my brains felt swashed...didn't have appitite (which is rare)... and felt like puking. its the same pain i got at sakae with my galz some time ago. hope i didn't spoil their mood manz. after some time...i was myself again. well...didn't get to enjoy the wide spread though. played number game to finish the remaining food. overall, the dinner was not spoilt after all. =) went for my 1st nite cycling. loved the downslopes but suffered the upslopes. went changi to see "beauties" and planes. had a few boxes of sparklers at the park & went back to our home sweet chalet with acheing butts.

next dae was a rush. made it juz in time to tampines for The Omen...which was kinda thrilling but not as scary as expected. wanted to bowl but fate didn't let us. so ended up buying tix for a late nite movie Slither. went back to chalet for fattening kfc dinner and then to tampines again for the movie. back in our cosy place....cards...food...games...sleep. everything happened so fast...the next thing i noe...i was on the way back home. argh...hate the feeling of a finished outing. too fast...too short. wished it could last longer.

should go wild wild wet some time....maybe when i slim down. hahaha its fun to be sitting in a large float together...sliding down...going round. & i don't noe when i can rent car again. hoping we galz can go do other stuff besides alwayz going town. sighz. when when when......

next week got 3 bdaes. luckily...fri, sat & sun. no clashes...great! everyone's turning 21 & celebrating. haha tmr gona bring my cousinz out for a movie...finally i can watch carz! hahaha chionging in mid-week? hope so. it has been a long time...realli. =)

thiNkinG at;
10:45 PM;

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Thursday, June 15, 2006

me? weird?

hmm.... ly & xw said i was weird that dae. was i? unusual? maybe abnormal...or special. wahaha actualli i also dunno....juz felt different in a way. wasn't the monthly thingy. juz felt blue...depressed was what i said? i wish i knew manz. juz felt farnie...myself. dunno? aiyah...i realli can't answer them coz i dunno myself. but dun worry~ its nothing much ba. i'll tell u all if its anything major... =P

ly is blogging! great. keep it up! bleahz. xw...is still not doing anything! ann finalli updated hers...short & sweet. when u're free...exercise ur fingers+mind more ya? this way we all auto updated. hehe we gotta meet up more often manz...my holidaes are passing by so fast! hahaha i need to enjoy. go out. do watever is fun. well..going for chalet tmr~ so exciting!

i'm okie. realli. =) thanx

thiNkinG at;
9:54 PM;

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Sunday, June 11, 2006

my heart-felt thoughts...

yep.... i realli went to the library. it was kinda fun. picked a stack of books...& find a nice comfy chair. flipped thru' the books & read onli wat i wanted to. such a fantastic feeling. conducive for sleeping too. glass curtain walls allowed me to daze at the outside scenery...overall : super relaxed feeling. definitely will go again...when i have the time. kekekke

did some unexpected shopping recently...got a nice pair of sandals which i realli like...but its kinda high. still gotta find a lower one to replace my torn & tatted one. gotta clear away my old pairs soon...b4 my mama starts commenting. hahah taiwan's having floods again...shitz. think my parents having 2nd thoughts abt letting me go...but i'm gona settle accomodation tmr! haiz. hope taipei is not affected ba. wait & see loh...

have been working...many cold side. none hot side...& acceptable wait side. cold side = cuts & orhh chehs. hot side = cuts & burnts. wait side = ankle pain. so how? all got problem...hahaha maybe its juz me lah. butter fingers...accident prone...full of problems. thats wat i'm like at work. derrick is constantly the radio...tok non-stop & sing. sometimes can be farnie but other times can say things that irritate me. most of the time toking crap. but i'm getting numb to it...sad to say...but starting to get used to it. if one dae...he doesn't say anything...then tHaT will be weird. he's like a father to me...nagging & stuff. too bad he doesn't want a god-daughter. wahahaha well...besides the crap & singing lessons...he also share his views on life principles. comment on relationship issues...which many times makes me reflect on my life. izzit good to remain frens after a breakup? guess the best answer depends on how u broke up. full of hatred? definitely no contact. mutual break up? this is the hard one. i alwayz think that its best to contact but keep a distance. contradicting in practice...coz its hard to draw the line especially when u've shared a part of ur life together. nOt contacting sure helps...but its painful. although i can't say its easy to get over...but stranger-ing will make it easier. hmm...easier said than done. but i guess everything takes time...making time so important & precious. psychological control equally needed...this is wat makes human's minds so great. its complexity.

i've alwayz had a dream house in mind...with a pool for my pet dolphin. impossible it is...unrealistic definitely. actualli i juz hope for a happy life with a stable family. like what i've been given in my life. my parents have brought me up so unconditionally...spending so much $$$ on me to provide me with such a comfortable life. i wasn't born with a silver spoon...maybe juz a metal one? its unbelieveable how great parents' love can be. its realli unconditional. totally overwhelms me. thats y sometimes i don't wanna worry them. don't wanna let them down either. they're everything a daughter can hope for...thats y i dun ask for anything more. dunno if i'll ever be able to repay them back & give them a comfortable life like what they have provided for me. i really hope to do so. i want to. i juz hope that i'll have the ability to. i'm soOoo grateful & thankful to them...i hope they know it.

thiNkinG at;
9:52 PM;

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Wednesday, June 07, 2006

memory lost...

something's really wrong with me. i noe i've said that many times but this time...my memory is confirm sHoRt. i can't seem to remember details of many things i wanna remember. its not that i totally can't remember lah....but its so irritating that i have to think so hard! oh manz...must i realli drink more chicken essence or eat ginko nuts? mich & ly is alwayz so helpful in pulling back my memories. everyone else seem to remember...but i need pple to help me to recall. argh...wat the hell...haha nonsense manz.

yesterdae went to joe's bdae. saw many long-time-no-see frenz. but most of the time...me & mich was chatting away. nigel was accompanying us all the way...joe was busy going ard. updated ah chan & boh but understand that they played pool with their guy frenz. jx too. had a nice chat with him...& he's still the same. still as hyper & noisy as ever. hahaha hmm...then slowly i started to recall the past. all sorts of thoughts bundled in my mind. stuff that i can remember...some that i don't. some which i question wHy & wondered how things used to be & are now. pple change...everyone's lifes change. but its facinating how some feelings can change & some don't. sometimes i wonder how things would be different if i made a different choice in the past...but then again how are we to predict the outcome of a different choice? to stop such imagination...i'll tell myself that i'm heRe now & nothing other than now onwards can be changed. anywayz... he cut cake at midnite & we left a while after. guess he & charlene will get married sooner or later. their families are like already connected. already like oNe. envious. i see more of these steady couples...izzit coz we start to enter grown-up life?

todae woke up early to visit didi at cgh. bought him a cute fat soft-toy which he was so paiseh getting. sorrie for making u so pai seh but i couldn't think of anything else. hehe buy for my didi...of course buy soft toy mah..no meh? hopefully u'll put on some weight! if not i'll be heavier than u liao lah. *siGhz* luckily he dun have to stay there much longer...was discharged in the afternoon. happie for he & glad that they can spent their anniversary together. yeah~ =) went to meet my galz for lunch at cj. had dumplingZ & la mian. had a fiesta...was so full! each of us so excited to get gift for nothing...from ann. (maybe onli i excited lah.. haha) a china shoe bag & a bar of choc which is in my stomach now. yuMmy~ =P tHanX aNn! she & mui left early & we 4 went shopping! managed to buy a top & shorts. time flew & we finally sat down at 8+ at gelare. went home early...but parents asleep already. ah well....haiz.

guess wat...i'm going to the library tmr. rare but true. u seldom see me going to library...but recently i juz felt like it. going there to find a nice book...something that i can read juz for fun & not having to go thru' exams. with the comfy chairs...i think it'll be so cosy. haha its my 1st time...hopefully it'll be a fruitfull experience. kinda excited abt it...wahaha okok. tmr is a dae for myself...and the nite with parents. =)

thiNkinG at;
10:53 PM;

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Sunday, June 04, 2006

home sweet home.

yep...been home more often nowadaes. guai rite? yeah...ever since my hair turned "black". i'm self declared a good girl. waHahaHaha my ankle's like ok...then not okie. so i dunno when it'll totally recover. thanx ren & glad for ur concern! i'll keep those in mind. dun need to worry abt me ya? i'm 21 liao~ hahaha hmm...i'm aware of my limits ba. know wat i can tolerate & wat i can't. so...no worries!! enough abt my problems...dun wish to be reminded of them. hehe

its good to be home...so comfy but feels so lazy! onli eat...sleep...tv...& computer. relaxing...but can get kinda boring...thats y i'd rather not be home in the daytime. anywayz...ly & mui going on holidae...so wed's gathering is so impt. can't wait! well...this is like my least planned week...feeling so bored already. maybe its coz of the lazing at home...*yAwNz*

my life's so boring...at least for now. gona have bdae...chalet...taiwan planz soon but not yet. feeling so so restless & lifeless nowadaes. since i've watched tv the whole dae...& have been online for hrs...my eyes need a break. think the screens are making me tired. best cure now...music & picz. yeah. a picture paints a thousand words....its unbelieveable how photos can bring u back thru' time. although onli fictionally...but better than reality now which is so B O R I N G~!

thiNkinG at;
10:34 PM;

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Thursday, June 01, 2006

return of the tendon problem..

feedback that my previous post was luan...sorry but try to understand. i speak this luan-ly as u noe hahaha

hmm..much controversy on which kinda doc better. western or chinese doc? well...actualli its hard to tell...especially for common pple like me. sometimes i wish i'm a doc...so i'll have answers to my numourous problems. i alwayz tell my frenz that there's so many things wrong with me. guess it sounds exaggerating...but i wouldn't say such things if i'm healthy rite? haha unless i'm juz over-thinking abt stuff...which gives the best assurance...agree? =P

abt the docs..good to go both...so u hear from both sides. but which to believe? i realli have no idea. largely depends on who u waNt to believe. last few times have been going to chinese docs. 1 to tui...the other accupuncture. both so darn painful when they rub like nobody's business. but after that will be okie ba. after some time...seem to come back again & the process repeats again. but i heard accupuncture is no good...will give problems when i get older..how true? dunno.

i was free from these problems for quite some time already. but recently came back again. went to polyclinic todae to get a different opinion. previous chinese physicians say its the veins problem...but todae's doc said it was the tendon. he was quick to tell me immediately & sounded so certain. well...my conclusion..i seem to be more convinced by the western doc. he thought that i exercised alot...but actualli its the opposite. but i'm still puzzled why i stand & walk as much as others...but still onli i get this problem. he said the onli cure is rest. gave me some gel to apply as well as painkillers & stuff. bought this ankle support guard which i hope it works. did some research on the net...it says that "Tendons are strong, tough bands of inelastic fibrous connective tissue that connects muscle to bone. They are the body’s highest strength connective tissue." well...looks like the strongest can be so weak in my case. archilles tendon injuries...so many types. think mine's coz of sudden change in motion or the way i walk. think i gotta get a gd pair of sports shoes for work le. haiz...

having weak ankles are definitely a hassle. need to make time to see doc...spend $$ to go thru' pain...and have to change sides with others at work juz coz i can't walk much. my problem is causing trouble on others...which i hate. so sometimes i prefer to juz keep quiet if the pain is bearable. todae rest the whole dae le. tmr daytime too. hope its enough. since my doubts are all cleared todae...i feel more at ease. maybe i'd prefer western docs...coz i understand them easier. chinese tends to make me "huh?" coz their terms...i don't quite understand. hahahahah can tell from my ktv skills =P

thiNkinG at;
9:56 PM;

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