being easy-going is not alwayz a good thing. it can turn ard and hurt so bad. having low expectations can also have unexpected implications. i guess i wasn't aware if not for the drilling session last nite. sometimes i take things simply. but yet i think too much for all the wrong things. how to satisfy others' expectations or even my own? or how to make them meet at some point where it is acceptable for all. i have to find that balance again. have been lost in my busy life.. too busy occupying myself to realise wat's happening. sometimes i start to think if i'm juz trying to use up all my time & energy so as not to daydream or think too much of unnecessary stuff. but then again, maybe i juz love to go out. thx neo & leong. for making me realise... that i have to give affirmations. although not my style.. but i will try not to be too subtly indirect. =D oh. 1 more thing.. i'm realli not tired. everyone has different ways of relaxation i guess. diff needs, diff wants, diff piorities.

anyway, glad to clear things up. work has been hectic again. this time messy with diff portfolios and every place is of utmost importance. i will do my best, but dun expect miracles. last weekend's outings were damn fun. sentosa. chalet. makes me wanna chalet again. glad that many weekend PHs coming up. means long wkends. great!

oh well.. i wonder. is it wrong to try to involve someone into the fun? try to make them comfortable in a gathering. try to just squeeze out that smile which is so hard? & not hide in a corner, rather be with strangers than pple u know? i dun believe anyone can ever be so weird. especially when its ur cousin's bdae and so many others are your frenz. u say i dun understand, yes i dun. forever saying u dun like crowd. but i've seen you reacting ever so enthusiastically with others. its a choice. i've alwayz told you its your perception. but u still juz carry on with your reserved & weird acts. time & time again. why should i even try. i should not even care. everything depends on your mood. to think that i've ever considered the impossible. we are definitely from different worlds.

thiNkinG at;
9:56 PM;