Live with no excuses, Love with no regrets..

Sunday, February 12, 2006

many thoughts...

my mind's so filled up.. dunno how to voice out. i'll juz blab it all in here. todae saw a possible li xiang qing ren. maybe i didn't even see properly...but i noe the outline was nice. as in the build & all. aiyah watever. juz eyecandy. well..didn't feel like going home so early...but its okie. should control. so i did. i noe my galz want me to rest more...i noe its gd for me..but its one thing i'm trying hard to control. i realli dun enjoy myself in sch...i juz hate it. if i could quit w/o regrets...i definitely will. i go to sch juz coz there's frenz there. but anywayz, those in my fac.. little are considered real frenz. i'm simply lost in my sch work...sometimes i juz dun wanna face it..that's y i dun study. finance is the worst. i tried doing the tutorial...flipped & studied the notes for so long...& couldn't even write a single thing. i've studied it in yr1...did badly then. guess the problem's juz brought forward till this sem. i can't seem to get it right...& the lecturer alwayz starts off toking rubbish in the front...elaborating on the wrong stuff & rushing thru' the impt parts. he thinks everyone's so smart? sorrie....i'm not. especially when it comes to application. & to make it worse..had a surprise "quiz" yesterdae in lec. totally lost..since my application sux...i didn't noe a single answer...so i'll be happy to get 1 mark.

i seriously dun enjoy myself in sch...but its something i can't avoid. haiz. this is why i alwayz work. coz it can get my mind off schwork. when i work...i'm enjoying myself so much more. i noe its hard for pple to understand why i work so much. actualli its simple. i juz enjoy myself. & enjoyment to me is important. i am myself when i'm working & when i'm out with frenz. i will do anything else but study...as long as exams are not nearing yet. i have a bad feeling abt this sem...too short...too many events. i'm prepared for the worst. anywayz...juz wanna let my galz noe...its not that i dun wanna heed ur advices...but working is an avenue for relaxation. i can't expect u all to be free so often & to accompany me all the time. i noe everyone's busy & have their own lives too...so i enjoy my life by packing up my daes with work & outingz to prevent stress from finding me. so if we can meet up more often...i'd love to. more outings like todae...with all 6 of us. did much thinking to help mui "beautify" her celebration. next wk will be fun...many events...which also means putting my sch work piling up for later. also hoping ann's gona wAnT to celebrate at her comfy home...which i predict will be absolut fun.

i've gotta get down planning for mine. everything's all coming...no idea how to study. i'm realli worried but yet i'm irritated & dun wanna care. todae had a great time with them. past few daes all slept at 5+am...all enjoying myself. i noe its bad for me...but the difficult part is controlling. like todae...i told myself i should go home early...but when go-home-time realli comes...i totally changed my mind. but in the end..i managed to mentally force myself to go home. yes! succeeded. (with the push from frenz). feeling kinda bad for not going to a fren's bdae party todae...haven't seen them for quite some time...& sort of hoped to be able to make it. but todae's not the right dae. our outing was planned long ago...& i wouldn't give it up for anything. 6 galz...nah. too valuable.

vdae's arrival makes me recall my past few valentines. all good. with or w/o him. got many surprises which made good memories. its gona be such a busy dae at ny & short of so many staff~ guess i should go help out after sch...since i'm free. although gotta see many couples tian mimi....but its alright lah. i can tahan. haha okie...enough said. juz enjoy next wk 1st. after that...next time then say.

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