Live with no excuses, Love with no regrets..

Saturday, September 16, 2006

coldness thru'out todae....

heavy rain todae...wat a cold day. woke up a little late again...juz couldn't pull myself out of bed. had space mkt tutorial one todae. our tutor actualli took the effort to remember ALL our names & managed to matched them correctly to our faces. so impressive. things are a little clearer now...maybe coz i'm guided. if left on my own...i'll go lost in the notes again. well...projs are piling up fast & hopefully deadlines won't kill us.

anyway, met up my galz todae. ate hot yummy fish noodles at ps foodcourt with ann & ly, b4 mich & xw came to join us later for gelare. then we went for a little walk...which i ended up spending. impulsive buying again...hp chain & 2 cheap watches...in juz 15 mins. almost slippers & t-shirts...but i stopped. i'm experiencing personal financial crisis now. especially when i'm so busy with sch & can't work! i want to work...but i juz dun have any more hours to squeeze out. been working onli once or twice a wk. & worst...i've been spending during outings...which i cannot NOT go...so my bank a/c is juz depreciating fast. haiz. i gotta start saving up. i've practically used up all that i've worked so hard for...& now i cannot pia back 'coz sch has started. argh~ wat a constrain.... *siGhz*

so...since missed the last bus...i walked home from mrt. no rush...so i took as nice slow walk home. although it would be nice to be accompanied by a special someone, but until then...i'll enjoy quality time alone. it was still cold...but it was nice. nite light + rainy aftermath + cool winds...so inducive to straighten out thoughts in that 1-hr walk. not that i have alot to think abt...but it sort of made me start thinking. i realise that everyone has a destined fate. like as though similar occurances happen...although with diff pple involved. like my fren who seem to fall for the same kind of girls...which past experiences don't work out. its weird but like fated. so when this happens, should pple make different choices? or juz continue the cycle...sticking by ur values?

this reminds me of my selfish-ness. many times b4...i have been. persistant & stubborn. sticking to my expectations and evaluation. am i being too self-centred? but my intentions are good, for the benefit of others. preventing wrong msgs or false hope. i can't give in or even try it out, knowing that i'm not able to rite? should i have made diff choices?

well...recalled how nice & comfortable our talk was...at vinc's party. that familiar moment felt like our indifferences & changes in all these yrs were juz eliminated. but i'm done with this. that chapter is closed. u belong with the rest now. that special book...is closed. for good. its too late to ask why...coz it wouldn't matter to both of us anymore.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

thiNkinG at;
1:34 AM;

*~=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-~*