Live with no excuses, Love with no regrets..

Friday, September 01, 2006

unexpected...

yesterdae started out bad. feeling so stressed coz my workload's piling up...especially with assignments i'm lost in. it makes me so reluctant to start coz i noe i won't be able to pen anything down. y must it be so difficult. maths, econs, all coming back to haunt me. seeing how lihai my peers are...makes me feel so lousy. i realli felt like quitting sch at that point of "depression". but i noe i've already been thru' half...& this other half will be tougher. i feel like i'm a freshie... no progress in my field. i'm struggling...yet unable to push myself to study. so hopeless.

heard complete info finally. coz i'm not the sort of person who like to be kept in suspense. although not wat i expected...but something more disturbing. some things are better left unsaid. but i'm glad my frens didn't keep it from me. so many qns i wanted to ask. y after so long? wat made u ask? y did that thought suddenly come up? does it make any difference now? will it make u upset or make me seem stupid? was it juz a simplistic remark or a truthful qn? i really wana noe...but i guess its beyond my reach. a part of me wished the qn was directed to me personally...another part relieved it wasn't. maybe as what leong said, "u've already gotten over...but hai shi fang bu xia". i'm afraid to admit to that....but somehow i guess its true. every time i think of the stupidity & time-wasted in that...i juz let the thought go away.

feeling disturbed by this...but i still wanna thank them for telling me. if i had the choice..70% wanna noe & 30% didn't. so i don't want anyone to think that they've made me worse off. thanx. really. supper and mahjong after that was all good.

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thiNkinG at;
2:12 PM;

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