Live with no excuses, Love with no regrets..

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

feelings of discomfort...

a lazy wed spent at home again...doing endless tutorials and proj research. amongst all these...thinking abt outingz..snooker...& cny. can't help but think of play...thinks its in my blood. hahaha anywayz...i've been thinking lots. my life's not terrible...i'm blessed in many ways. gotta be thankful to all i have. but at times, its inevitable that we think of stuff lacking in our lives. be it material or emo. maybe good things are only meant to see...not touch. like how beautiful crystals are kept behind glass panels. once we get hold of such 'wants', it doesn't seem to worth as much as it initially did. maybe thats why unreachable stuff are so valuable? we tend to want things that are hard to achieve & yet take for granted things we already have. i'm aware of it...thats y i make sure i'm not guilty of it. trying to treasure everything i have now & seldom wanting to aim high. simplicity is best.

but it hurts to know that others see u in a different light. others meaning those who seem to know but don't. although i can't blame them for having their own opinions..it juz saddens me that i'm "evil" in their perspective. i may have blown up this "them" due to 1 person's remark...but i'm aware of the many others who think the same as that 1 person. i noe i shouldn't care wat other pple think ('coz they don't know the whole story)...but i'm still affected (due to my sensitive nature). luckily this infection onli comes temporarily. well, as an outsider of a particular situation...things sure seems different to that felt by the players in it. feelings are felt onli by the players...thoughts are created by the outsiders. thoughts that "blackmails" the players. or should i say perceptions. assumptions that what they see confirms their deductions. that wat the player is doing is so wrong & selfish.

the player is trying so hard to maintain something so vulnerable. something the outsider doesn't experience...doesn't realise or feel. something so difficult to explain & can onli be felt. & yet the player's intentions are sometimes misunderstood as wrong/evil from outsider's point of view. of course there are those "them" whom truely understand...listen...support & guide the players so that the player knows everything will turn out fine. player thanx all those worthy & hopes that the tendency of outsiders judging players will be voided. ---Forgive & Unforget--- (unless ur memory fails u)

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5:29 PM;

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